Days 54-61 (Back to bali)

Sorry for leaving it another week for a post, i know you all can't survive without my regular mumblings!

Well last weekend we went to a very nice house warming party at the house of one of the office staff who had a swimming pool, it's a tough life. After sam and i went to a bar to watch rovers vs chelsea, my first match in two months, i walked in just in time to see chelsea score a very lucky goal, so annoying.

ANyway, anedotes as my last few posts have been a little dull.

I went to get my tourist license on tuesday, i need this becuase i didn't bring my international license and in oreder to be able to ride a bike out here i need to do the internal training which i can only do in bali, so need tourist license to do this.

Anyway got picked up form the office and went to the police station arriving at about 1. When we got there they bloke looked at my passport etc and talked for several minutes before revealing that i would have to come back the following day as they only issues licenses in the morning. He sat there, smoking heavily (this appears to be a key element to being an indonesian policeman) and told us it was impossible to get the license. HE had everything he need except the inclination to be helpful. We have been warned of this, it's a very bureaucratic country and so we went away empty handed.

We returned the following morning (i left language school early much to my teacher and classmates delight) and went up in time. When we got there we had to see a different policeman again with my details and fill in many forms which all appeared to be very similar. The man regarded me with some disgust (he too was smoking) until he saw my shoes (a birthday present from my parents, nothing spectactular, not like 8 inch platforms or anything) which he refused to believe were not bought in indonesia, at one point i was worried he wanted them as some sort of bribe leaving me to return home shoeless however he did not.

He instead handed me my theory test, this was a bit of a shock but was fairly straight forward and in english and i even refrained from correcting the grammer as i was worried that these 18 stone, chain smoking, revolver toting (one kept on putting his hand on his gun when he scowled at me) policemen may be sensitive and burst out crying if i did.

Having givcen my test a cursory glance and lighting another ciggarette they told me i would now have to do my practical test. This too was more than a little surprise. The guy who was sorting it out said the rules are at the whim of the director so change frtequently.

When we got to the test area my intermediatory (for want of a better word, the bloke who the office had got to sort it out) asked if i was okay and i didn't really have an option. He explained the bike won't have a clutch but will have gears as they are semi automatic. i had never heard of such a thing (hey i know nothing about bikes) so when we got there he went and talked to the bloke in charge who was sat in a booth (smoking).

The bike was there and it was a small thing barely bigger than a scooter and there was an obsticle course. My intermediatory came back very pleased as he had specially got them to let me use a bike with a clutch as thats what i was used to.

Then out of nowhere another large (and again, smoking) policeman appeared on this huge bike. It looked like somehting out of mad max and was probably like a million cc engine size (i told you, i don't know anything about bikes). In all honesty, it was big, behemoth big with a siren sticking up, a suge pannelas ( spelling) radio etc etc, basically a full police riot van on two wheels. He got off and gestured to me to use it. Now i wouldn't mind riding such a big bike given two things:

1) have more than 3 seconds to get used to it before being tested on it (it's like turning up to your driving test and being given an HGV to drive)

2) the course was designed for the ant sized bike now completely covered by the shadow of this monster. it was barely possible to visualise this monster fitting between the cones.

SO i reluctantly gave it a whirl being watch by another policeman with a clipboard who wasn't smoking when i started but was by the end, those two minutes must have been agony for him. Alas i didn't cover myself in glory but made it round without too many mistakes.

As we were walking away with my pass certifcate in hand, i told the intermeditary i thought i'd messed it up. NOw there only a few reasons i can think why i didn't fail:

1) the observing policeman had blinded himself with cigarette smoke

2) i was secretly, without even me knowing an amazing motorcyclist

3) the test has a very low standard to pass

4) because i am a westerner

5) because of the natural charm of my intermediatory and something he said..

Now obviously i couldn't say if i knew any of those to be true, they are all just speculation of course. Anyway, i have my tourist license and my international driving license should be here soon, if i had brought it with me i would never have to have seen the police or done any test (just some internal training you can't fail) so it's all academic really, a mere formality.

I've now finished language school which i actually finished with a B which is pretty respectable. Got my second day of motorbike training tomorrow (internal, unfailable) and then on sunday we fly to kupang before going to Rote on tuesday morning.

I won't have especially regular internet access but will still try to bring you all at least one anecdote a week.