Supplementary - travel in Indonesia

Well I’ve actually been here a quarter of my total time now and having just done that huge post which contained far too many details of my bowel movements I thought I should probably tell you some more details of what life is like here for anyone who doesn’t know (sorry if you do, please don’t feel patronised, I know nothing I am saying is original or insightful and common all over Asia and all developing countries, I in no way think I am the first person to discover all of this, I just thought some people may be interested) and I thought I’d tell you about transport.

Basically it varies from island to island what is available, most have taxis, some have trains, others you can hire cars, others rely heavily on ojeks and bemos In terms of getting between islands there are (unsurprisingly) ferries and Aeroplanes. It is the last

IN rote it is pretty much just Ojeks and bemos in terms of on island transport. A bemo is sort of a little mini bus similar to one of those little ‘Rascal’ vans in the UK (made by ford I think), they have a door in the side and two benches running the length of the back and they run set routes depending on their colour and in some places their numbers. You simply hail one you want as it drives past jump in and then pay whatever you think is fair when you get to where you are going. All this sounds fairly straight forward and the idea is however it is a little more interesting than that.

It would appear that every bemo in NTT (my region of Indonesia) has been inspired by a certain TV programme and look like something off ‘pimp my mini bus’. The first requirement is a good sound system, by good I don’t mean good quality I mean good as in able to make the ears of your passengers bleed uncontrollably for the duration of their journey. The bass should obscure all other noise on the planet including the possibility of a nuclear weapon going off. Next you must decided on what stickers you want to plaster the outside with, these range from various musical artist to messages to the world, it is sort of like one giant bumper sticker to the world. Some have religious messages others just obscenities although the strangest I has seen just had ‘Hitler’ written down two windows. It is also required that said decorations should also obscure as much of your windscreen as is physically possible to make driving even more challenging.

There are of course a few optional extras, however seatbelts never fall into this category, they are never an option. Most have ludicrously long (6 or 7ft) Florissant bendy aerial type things sticking out the back which hurt if they hit you as they go past which I can say through personal experience, a novelty horn which plays a tune or just makes a strange and annoying noise is a must though. Also a great number of cuddly toys and plastic love shaped handles also help. These are an interesting mode of transport however not the most comfortable when they are crowded and difficult if you are 6’2” which means you need to learn to dislocate your knees on command and develop a thick skull for when you keep banging your head as you get in or out.

If you are feeling a little classier than or want to go somewhere that the bemo doesn’t run you can use an ojek which is basically a motorbike taxi. I say taxi that sort of misleadingly makes it sound like there is any sort of regulation of them. It’s basically just a bloke with a bike and sometimes a license (he may not have had time to buy one) who isn’t doing anything at that moment in time when he sees you and fancies making some money. I’ve had ojek drivers who are policemen in their spare time. The quality of driving is often far from desirable so if you find a decent one you tend to get their number and they become your ojek guy who you can text when you need to go somewhere. If you find a good one then you can rely on them and also know they won’t overcharge you, I recently just tried to get one from the street who tried to charge me 15 times the fair price. You tend to have them more in bigger places as put simply, there isn’t really THAT many places that you can go in Rote that aren’t either walkable, bemoable or too far to want to go on an ojek.

There is a bizarre phenomena with ojeks though, you will spend your life being harassed by them (‘hey mister you want ojek???’) and then when you need one, there are never any to be found and you just wander the streets.

Taxis aren’t big here but in bali everywhere you walk they will pull over and try and see if you need them unless, like ojeks, you actually do need them.

Boats and planes are pretty similar in a lot of ways as they are both governed by three simple principles in Indonesia

1) Never, ever, ever expect one to leave when it says it will unless of course you’re late in which case it will have left promptly.

2) Every passenger, although allotted a specific seat should try their best to all enter and exit at the same time, at speed. It is crucial to make it on as quickly as possible for reasons unknown.

3) You should always take as much as you can with you, less than 3 pieces of hand luggage is just plain embarrassing. You should aim for about 7 trying your best to include items such as

a. Suitcases the size of which should really be hold luggage

b. Some variety of livestock, normally bound or caged in some way as to cause maximum discomfort to the animal

c. At least one cardboard box tied up with black plastic bag wound into a rope like binding.

d. If on a boat, some minyak tanna (stove fuel, they don’t allow it on planes) or other flammable liquid which you should then position next to the heaviest smoker on the vessel.

e. A motorbike helmet although it is best to wear this for the entire jounry to save carrying it, this isn’t a safety thing it’s just what some people do.

So anyway, that was just some thoughts about transport in Indonesia, like I say sorry if you know it all.